Taking Back My Love - Enrique Iglesias ft. Ciara

Go ahead just leave, can't hold you, you're free

You take all these things, if they mean so much to you

I gave you your dreams, 'cause you meant the world

So did I deserve to be left here hurt?

You think I don't know you're out of control

I ended up finding all of this from my boys

Girl, you're stone cold, you say it ain't so

You already know I'm not attached to material

I'd give it all up but I'm takin' back my love

I'm takin' back my love, I'm takin' back my love

I've given you too much but I'm takin' back my love

I'm takin' back my love, my love, my love, my love

My love

Yeah, what did I do but give love to you?

I'm just confused as I stand here and look at you

From head to feet, all that's not me

Go 'head, keep the keys, that's not what I need from you

You think that you know

(I do)

You've made yourself cold

(Oh yeah)

How could you believe them over me, I'm your girl

You're out of control

(So what?)

How could you let go?

(Oh yeah)

Don't you know I'm not attached to material?

I'd give it all up but I'm takin' back my love

I'm takin' back my love, I'm takin' back my love

I've given you too much but I'm takin' back my love

I'm takin' back my love, my love, my love, my love

I'd give it all up but I'm takin' back my love

I'm takin' back my love, I'm takin' back my love

I've given you too much but I'm takin' back my love

I'm takin' back my love, my love, my love, my love

So all this love I give you, take it away

(Uh, uh huh)

You think material's the reason I came

(Uh, uh huh)

If I had nothing would you want me to stay

(Uh, uh huh)

You keep your money, take it all away

I'd give it all up but I'm takin' back my love

I'm takin' back my love, I'm takin' back my love

I've given you too much but I'm takin' back my love

I'm takin' back my love, my love, my love

I'd give it all up but I'm takin' back my love

I'm takin' back my love, I'm takin' back my love

I've given you too much but I'm takin' back my love

I'm takin' back my love, my love, my love

I'd give it all up but I'm takin' back my love

I'm takin' back my love, I'm takin' back my love

I've given you too much but I'm takin' back my love

I'm takin' back my love, my love, my love, my love

Ooh, my love

(I'm taking back my love)

Ooh, my love

Leaving...

I told Miss Tian that I am leaving yesterday.

To my surprise, she does not have much response. In fact, she wished me all the best. Perhaps she already has mental preparation when I told her last time. Immediately in the same afternoon, she called all Managers and me to discuss on the job delegation. I know it is correct and normal to do so, but... I just can’t help but felt really sad listening to it...

The idea of "I am leaving here!!" just hit me hard on the head. I suddenly feel really sad to leave here, leaving a place where I have worked and grew for 1 year and 3 months; leaving a bunch of colleagues who have treated me really well; leaving bosses who really helped me to grow...

I start feeling left out from all the decision making process; I start feeling left out from all the meetings. Now, it seems like the only thing I should focus on is to tidy up all the files and documents. It makes me really sad and uncomfortable...

I know there is already no return; I know I make my own decision; I know I should look forward; I know I should not feel regret on the decisions that I have made; I know I should be stronger... But, it is really hard. It is so difficult that it hurts me when I try...

I try to stay happy; I try to look happy; I try to convince myself that I want to leave; I try to show people that the next job is better; I try to convince myself that next job is better; I try to convince myself that the there is more opportunities in next company; I try to convince myself... I will be able to find better friends in the other companies...

Trying is really tiring... I am feeling so tired that I don't know what I do... I try to pull myself up... I try to run away from these negative thinking... But... nothing seems to be working... I still stuck here, in here…

Hot and Cold - Katy Perry

You change your mind

Like a girl changes clothes

Yeah, you PMS like a bitch

I would know

And you always think

Always speak cryptically

I should know

That you're no good for me

'Cause you're hot then you're cold

You're yes then you're no

You're in and you're out

You're up and you're down

You're wrong when it's right

It's black and it's white

We fight, we break up

We kiss, we make up

You, you don't really wanna stay, no

You, but you don't really wanna go, oh

'Cause you're hot then you're cold

You're yes then you're no

You're in and you're out

You're up and you're down

We used to be just like twins, so in sync

The same energy now's a dead battery

Used to laugh 'bout nothing

Now you're plain boring I should know

That you're not gonna change

'Cause you're hot then you're cold

You're yes then you're no

You're in and you're out

You're up and you're down

You're wrong when it's right

It's black and it's white

We fight, we break up

We kiss, we make up

You, you don't really wanna stay, no

You, but you don't really wanna go, oh

You're hot then you're cold

You're yes then you're no

You're in and you're out

You're up and you're down

Someone call the doctor

Got a case of a love bipolar

Stuck on a rollercoaster

Can't get off this ride

You change your mind

Like a girl changes clothes

'Cause you're hot then you're cold

You're yes then you're no

You're in and you're out

You're up and you're down

You're wrong when it's right

It's black and it's white

We fight, we break up

We kiss, we make up

'Cause you're hot then you're cold

You're yes then you're no

You're in and you're out

You're up and you're down

You're wrong when it's right

It's black and it's white

We fight, we break up

We kiss, we make up

You, you don't really wanna stay, no

You, but you don't really wanna go, oh

You're hot then you're cold

You're yes then you're no

You're in and you're out

You're up and you're down, down, down, down...

Leaving UTAR...

After I announced that I am leaving UTAR, a lot of people asked, "Since you are so happy in UTAR, why do you still want to leave?". Actually this is a question that I also thought for a really long time.

It all began in July, when UTAR started the head-count system and internal departmental transfer if head-count of the department has exceeded the limit. In July, Loans and Scholarships have been transferred to Exam Department. (I know it don’t really have anything to do with me. But still!) Since the Loans and Scholarships are transferred, Annie was also transferred to Exam Department. This is when I start feeling lonely, everybody is leaving, and ultimately I will be the only person left in UTAR. The fear sorts of provoke me wanting to leave too...

However, provoking normally will not last long. After few weeks, the anxious feeling of wanting to leave has cooled down, then I start thinking -- maybe UTAR isn’t all that bad.

Maybe it is really destiny. The low yearly increment has caused me make up my mind to leave. When I first got the news, I really can't believe that everyone actually has same standard increment. It means no matter how good you are, how matter how hardworking you are, you are still getting the same increment with everybody else that might not even done half of what you are doing. Isn't that really unfair? Moreover, how fast can you salary raised if you are only getting RM100 increment each year? That's when I learned that it is time for me to leave.

I do not expect a four, five thousand salary per month, but it should be relatively enough for me to spend and save at the same time. I really cannot imagine myself working for few years, but not even a penny in my bank account.

I know I am realistic but who are not?

New Job

I finally got a new job!! I will be working as Secretary for Interior Design Department in The One Academy (TOA) in middle of November.

When I go for interview, I didn't expect them will offer me the job immediately... Okie... I did kind of expected or rather hoped that it will be the case... I was really excited when TOA offered me the job. I am especially happy when the Head of Department told me that he is happy with my resume and the GM of TOA highly recommended me. :) Almost immediately after I came out from the interview, I start calling everyone to inform them about the good news.

After the fifth call, the excitement start fading, but I still feel really happy. In fact Jo and I went for Mani/Pedi session in The Gardens. (It is not exactly planned for the offered, but still... it is a relax session cum celebration!) After that, we went to Jusco and I brought one skirt which is soooo pretty!

Then, we came home. Jo went out for dinner with her friends. Now, I suddenly start feeling very upset... It is like... the idea that I am leaving UTAR just suddenly hit me on the head. I started to feel very reluctant to leave UTAR... I have so much fun here, I enjoy hanging out with my colleagues so much, and now... I am leaving...

Today, the Head of Department of TOA asked me, "Are you happy working UTAR?". Without having a second thought, I immediately answered "YES!". I really have enjoyable period in UTAR; I really learned so much in UTAR, from Ms Tian, in fact, there are so much more that I could learn.

But, I think it is time to move on. It is time for me to look forward for a better future, for a better career advancement.

Happy Belated Birthday Jenn!!!

Happy belated birthday Jenn! Lolz!~

Yesterday was Jenn's birthday, I am not too sure about her, but I have to say that I really enjoy myself!!

First, we went to Jogoya for lunch (11am - 2pm). None of us ever went before and Jenn sort of has a craving on Japanese buffet, although it is very expensive, we decided to hell with it, we just go. :) I was so filling!!! We ate so much that I almost vomited half way through the lunch. I didn't even really get up and scout for food, imagine if I also join them, it is going to be really scary. However, I didn't really attack the desert session, by that time, I was already too full to stuff in anymore deserts. Nevertheless, despite the price, it was a really a wonderful lunch.

Then, we went to Neway Times Square for Karaoke. It was so fun!! My conclusion is that I love Neway so much more than Redbox!!! The most amazing part that I love the most is that their English songs actually have subtitle!! Not only 1 or 2 songs, is all the songs!! For Chinese educated people like me, this is really the biggest discovery!! A lot of times, I can't really remember the lyrics, so I normally will not be join in when people is singing English songs. But, for yesterday, I can! It is so enjoyable, we actually sang from 3pm all the way to 6.30pm. First, we thought it is long, but, it actually seems not really enough when we reached the end.

After karaoke, it is dinner time again! Since we had a really filling lunch, we decided to walk around shopping while the food digests. :) Times Square clothes are really cheap and guess what! All of us got carried away by shopping and we missed the dinner time. So I have no choice but to start on where to go.

In the end, we settled on Piccadilly, as my cousin, Sara said it is nice. (Thank you so much, my dear!) It is really not bad, the food is nice, it is not expensive and the beer is cheap!! After we finish our late dinner (I actually ate Green Garden Salad!!), we just start drinking and chatting until past twelve. We have to leave early because I am already very tired and sleepy. Sorry babes!

Yesterday was really fun and it has so long that we gather together and have fun. I really love you guys and hope that we can gather together again soon. :)

Art/ Design

I just completed the front cover design for Orientation Booklet for October 2009.

Things changed really fast and it is really true when people said that you will change as you grow and as you have different experience.

Still remember when I was much younger, I used to really hate art or anything that have anything to do with art. Art is always one of my biggest nightmare during my study time, especially when I was taking Introduction to Arts in Foundation. I am sure that people who took Foundation with me still remember how horrible I did for the practical of the subject. Every time before I submit my work, my friend, normally is Jenn, who will have to help me to sharpen the work. (Thank you so much babes!)

Somehow or other, after I come into UTAR, my interest in arts suddenly grows. I started to feel that art/ design is such an interesting subjects and it is not as bad as how I would imagine. Although I am always not directly involve in the production of our designs, brainstorming seems to be constantly interesting and motivating.

Throughout the years, I have believed that I will always do horrible in arts; I am always horrible when it comes to design. This feeling is so strong especially when I am surrounded by people/ friends who are really fantastic in such things.

However, when I start working, to my surprise, I am actually the most creative staff in the department. Ever since then, all the design will be handled by me. I have to say I am really shock when first work passed to me.

Although my design is not as good as others, it is not even comparable with my wonderful friends, at least now I have gained confident to do a design work independently. It might not be the best, but it will always be the work that I put in my best effort.

Cover - Booklet Oct 09 Orientation

我不笨,我努力

努力不一定會成功，但成功卻永遠需要努力。

有兩個小學生，為了打羽毛球，把學校禮堂的一百多張長凳搬開，打完球再歸位，同學都笑他們笨，後來他們卻成了羽毛球國手。
→ → 其實不怕麻煩，可以實現夢想。

有一個大型才藝比賽，主辦單位打破多年慣例，賽前先發紀念品給小朋友，有人說：「主辦單位有點笨，大家領了紀念品，閉幕典禮時就會很冷清。」結果閉幕時場面非常熱鬧。
→ →其實尊重，可以獲得支持。

有一個人，去打籃球，常常輸。隊友說：「你為什麼這麼笨，都不搶球，能贏都不贏。」他答道：「我們在球場，受到這麼多人的歡迎，他們多麼喜歡跟我們打球。」
→ →其實輸球，可以換來好人緣。

有一個人，帶女朋友去看電影，路不熟，到了戲院，電影已散場。去吃飯，忘了帶皮夾，只得對女朋友說：「能不能借我一點錢。」到女友府上拜訪，遲到了半個多小時，原來摩托車沒油了，他竟然氣喘如牛的推著摩托車趕來。她還是嫁給了這位傻小子。
→ →其實真心，可以換真情。

有一個人，早上出門，後面車子煞車不及撞上來，對方急忙下車向他賠罪，他想：「一點小擦撞，大家都在趕時間，人沒事就好！」回家後，發現保險桿已經搖搖欲墜。朋友說：「你真笨，應該抄下他的車號。」他說：「事情過去就算了。」過幾天，他接到保險公司的理賠通知，原來對方早已記下他的車號。
→ →其實不計較，可以得到公平對待。

有個女孩，騎摩托車到大賣場買東西，結帳出來，看到一個人，鬼鬼祟祟的坐在摩托車上，東張西望，她沒好氣的說：「你坐在我車上做什麼？」他哭笑不得的說：「小姐，我已經等你半小時了，你沒事幹麼鎖住我的車。」在婚禮上，人家問他：「你為什麼娶她？」他說：「我喜歡她的迷糊。」
→ →其實迷糊，可以得到疼惜。

有一個人，常常托同事幫她買早點，她總是給30元，買一塊她常吃的麵包，有一天這位男同事休假，她自己跑去買麵包才發現，她買的麵包早已漲價成35元。從此以後，她都會多看他一眼，沒多久，公司流傳了一段佳話「五塊錢買一個老婆。」
→ →其實吃虧，可以獲得好感。

從小聽到大的故事「龜兔賽跑」，總是以為，現實生活裏，絕對不會有人像兔子般，因為貪睡而輸給烏龜。長大後漸漸發現「其實有成就的人，不是靠能力而是靠努力」。

有些人的成就，是你的十倍、百倍、千倍、萬倍，但是他的能力卻不一定是你的十倍、百倍、千倍、萬倍。不是他比你聰明，而是他笨笨的，去做一些你所不願去做的事。

在人生中，聰明的人，常常在最後，變笨了；而笨的人，卻常常在最後，變聰明了。遇到寒冷酷熱，聰明的人逃開了；笨的人，卻傻傻的去親身嘗試，意外的在寒冷酷熱中成長，因為笨的人都知道：「努力不一定會成功，但成功卻永遠需要努力。」

"Orphan"

"Orphan" is really good! I really indeed enjoyed the show. Although it is a bit too scary and exciting to me, I still think it is a good movie. :)

Like I mentioned in the previous post and now witnessed with my own eyes, Isabelle Fuhrman can really act! I knew she is good, I never expected that she is this good!

When she acted as a little girl, she is the cutest and sweetest girl in the world. However, when she showed her true colour, she looks creepy and scary just like how I would imagine. It is so believing that she is psycho and is going to kill you whenever there is a chance. The most amazing part is when she acted as a 33-year-old woman. Her eyes, her face, her gesture really make you believe that she is a mature scary woman! As a young 14-year-old girl, I even think she acted better than anyone else. Her eyes are so evil!

The most disturbing part is that every time she killed or attempt to kill, her young 6-year-old sister, Maxine is always there looking watching. I cannot imagine how traumatic she will be after she grown up.

Overall, I think it is a great movie. The twist at the end where Esther is actually 33 years old gave most of the people in cinema a huge shock. That was totally unexpected!

It is a movie that I would recommend to watch in the cinema, instead of buying DVD and watch at home, because it is most scary with the sound and visual effect.

Online Contests

I have been crazily in love with online contests!

First, it is a thought of wanna try out my luck, then when I actually won something, although it is just some movie tickets, it already made me so happy!

Now, I have become obsessed with online contests. Everyday, all the time, I will be stuck with the search engine, searching for more online contests. When a specific website is slow in uploading new contest, I will be frustrated with the web master.

I think it has kind of become a little bit unhealthy, I should start adjusting myself back to normal. Online contests are good and interesting, but I should not be too obsessed with it, especially when it starts affecting my personal life...

Mood Swing...

I think I am in quite a serious mood swing today... One moment I feel really happy... One moment I feel really down... One moment I feel very annoyed... One moment I feel very irritated... What happen to me?

Going for "Orphan" Tonight!

Yeah! Finally I get to watch a movie again! Tonight I am going to watch "Orphan" with CL and his friend!

It has been such a long time that I never go for movie after Jo leave. When she still around in KL, we normally go for a movie once a week. (That's kind of crazy right?)

Anyway, Orphan has been a movie that I wanted to watch so badly!!! I know it is a scary movie. I know my eyes are normally half close (Hide behind my bag) when I am watching it! I know CL's hand will be really painful after the movie. (Hold really tightly by me!) But, the storyline sounds so interesting that I couldn't stop myself from wanting to watch it. (^___^)

Sara has watched the show and she told the movie is really good and although Isabelle Fuhrman is only 14 and she can REALLY act, that kind of made me look forward to the movie. People say that twist at the end of the movie is also very interesting. Although I already know what is it (I shouldn't have asked Sara), I still want to know how they film it.

Basically, let's just cross fingers and hope that the movie is good and I will enjoy the show!!

愛情的真諦‏

石頭問：我究竟該找個我愛的人做我的妻子呢？還是該找個愛我的人做我的妻子呢？

佛笑了笑：這個問題的答案其實就在你自己的心底。這些年來，能讓你愛得死去活來，能讓你感覺得到生活充實，能讓你挺起胸不斷往前走，是你愛的人呢？還是愛你的人呢？

石頭也笑了：可是朋友們都勸我找個愛我的女孩做我的妻子

佛說：真要是那樣的話，你的一生就將從此註定碌碌無為！你是習慣在追逐愛情的過程中不斷去完善自己的。你不再去追逐一個自己愛的人，你自我完善的腳步也就停滯下來了

石頭搶過了佛的話：那我要是追到了我愛的人呢？會不會就……

佛說：因為她是你最愛的人，讓她活得幸福和快樂被你視作是一生中最大的幸福，所以，你還會為了她生活得更加幸福和快樂而不斷努力。幸福和快樂是沒有極限，所以你的努力也將沒有極限，絕不會停止。

石頭說：那我活的豈不是很辛苦？

佛說：這麼多年了，你覺得自己辛苦嗎？石頭搖了搖頭，又笑了。

石頭問：既然這樣，那麼是不是要善待一下愛我的人呢？

佛搖了搖頭，說：你需要你愛的人善待你嗎？

石頭苦笑了一下：我想我不需要。

佛說：說說你的原因。石頭說：我對愛情的要求較為苛刻，那就是我不需要這裡面夾雜著同情夾雜著憐憫，我要求她是發自內心的愛我的，同情憐憫寬容和忍讓雖然也是一種愛，儘管也會給人帶來某種意義上的幸福，但它卻是我深惡痛絕，如果她對我的愛夾雜著這些，那麼我寧願她不要理睬我，又或者直接拒絕我的愛意，在我還來得及退出來的時候，因為感情是隻能越陷越深的，絕望遠比希望來的實在一些，因為絕望的痛是一剎那的，而希望的痛則是無限期的。

佛笑了：很好，你已經說出了答案！

石頭問：為什麼我以前愛著一個女孩時，她在我眼中是最美麗的？而現在我愛著一個女孩，我卻常常會發現長得比她漂亮的女孩呢？

佛問：你敢肯定你是真的那麼愛她，在這世界上你是愛她最深的人嗎？

石頭毫不猶豫地說：那當然！

佛說：恭喜。你對她的愛是成熟、理智、真誠而深切的。

石頭有些驚訝：哦？

佛又繼續說：她不是這世間最美的，甚至在你那麼愛她的時候，你都清楚地知道這個事實。但你還是那麼地愛著她，因為你愛的不只是她的青春靚麗，要知道韶華易逝，紅顏易老，但你對她的愛戀已經超越了這些表面的東西，也就超越了歲月。你愛的是她整個的人，主要是她的獨一無二的內心。

石頭忍不住說：是的，我的確很愛她的清純善良，疼惜她的孩子氣。

佛笑了笑：時間的任何考驗對你的愛戀來說算不得什麼。

石頭問：為什麼後來在一起的時候，兩個人反倒沒有了以前的那些激情，更多的是一種相互依賴？

佛說：那是因為你的心裡已經潛移默化中將愛情轉變為了親情…

石頭摸了摸腦袋：親情？

佛繼續說：當愛情到了一定的程度的時候，是會在不知不覺中轉變為親情的，你會逐漸將她看作你生命中的一部分，這樣你就會多了一些寬容和諒解，也只有親情才是你從誕生伊始上天就安排好的，也是你別無選擇的，所以你後來做的，只能是去適應你的親情，無論你出生多麼高貴，你都要不講任何條件的接受他們，並且對他們負責對他們好。

石頭想了想，點頭說道：親情的確是這樣的。

佛笑了笑：愛是因為相互欣賞而開始的，因為心動而相戀，因為互相離不開而結婚，但更重要的一點是需要寬容、諒解、習慣和適應才會攜手一生的。

石頭沉默了：原來愛情也是一種宿命。

石頭問：在這樣的一個時代，這樣的一個社會裡，像我這樣的一個人這樣辛苦地去愛一個人。是否值得呢？

佛說：你自己認為呢？

石頭想了想，無言以對。

佛也沉默了一陣，終於他又開了口：路既然是自己選擇的，就不能怨天尤人，你只能無怨無悔。

石頭長吁了一口氣，石頭知道他懂了，他用堅定的目光看了佛一眼，沒有再說話。

TOA 2nd Interview!!!

OMG!!! I actually got a call from The One Academy (TOA).

After waiting for so long (Exceeding two weeks time where they have promised), I thought they will not call and I have failed the interview. Who knows they actually still remember me! And they actually call me for 2nd interview!!

Not saying that I really wanted this job, but I would actually prefer it more than Lulu Nyonya. Although the salary is not as good, but at least I feel like I am doing something that I like and I feel comfortable with. (It seems like I have fall back into my comfort zone...)

One of the most important reasons of why I wanted this job so badly is because it is a Interior Design Department. I love interior design! I always hope that I can learn something on interior design. If I have more money, if I have more time, I would actually go and take up a course in interior design.

Moreover, the working hours for this job are shorter than Lulu Nyonya and it is nearer! If I take up the Lulu Nyonya job, I will actually have to wake up earlier than now, which is something that ultimately unhappy with. Okie... I admit... I am a person who loves to sleep. So getting me up from bed earlier is definitely out of the picture...

Now, I suddenly hope that Lulu Nyonya will not call me... Now I will need to decide which job do I want to take... Waiting for a job that might not be mine but I like it more or take on a job that I can accept and will put myself under more unnecessary stress...

Yvonne's Wedding

Finally it is over...After a week of preparation (As a bridesmaid), finally the wedding ceremony is over.

I think the ceremony is kind of nice and romantic. I think the surprise that Ming Yew gave Yvonne before the ceremony is extremely touching and romantic (Although I am not there to witness it).

A lot of preparations such as dress code and rehearsal have been done leading to the ceremony. During the preparation, of course we felt angry and mistreated, but all and all, it really worth it after you see the outcome on the night.

Actually I have nothing much to write for that night, I just feel that I should record it down, so I will remember it, 12 September 2009, the night where I become the bridesmaid for Yvonne and Ming Yew's wedding.

Tiring Night...

Yesterday was a real tiring day!!!

Going off from work earlier, run around PJ to pick up people (Sara, Mei Shien, Ken) and stuff (Mei Shien's Dress), then rush to Equatorial Hotel for a rehearsal. (Not mentioning that people have been screaming at me that I am late for the rehearsal. Please lar... You think I like to be stuck in the jam is it?) After spending half an hour on the rehearsal, immediately have to run out and rush to Kota Damansara for Fern’s farewell dinner. Then, spend the whole night discussing with Mei Shien whether we should sing 天天夜夜 or not... The most annoying part is -- if there is no space to slot in an additional programme, then just don't ask me lar... Making me worried for nothing nia...

Nevertheless, it is still a wonderful dinner for yesterday night. We laugh and discussed on some "sensitive" issue. The outing really makes me enjoy myself. But, I also start wonder did I talk too much last night. Erm… maybe I should keep quiet and maintain my innocence look. Anyway, it is too late to regret, what is done has already been done. I have no idea how long more I will be able to stay in UTAR, so I should cherish all my time here with everyone.

Tonight, I will stay over at Joey's house and getting ourselves ready for tomorrow BIG day. (Why I sound like I am the one getting married?) Hope that everything went well for tonight. No argument, just pure happiness!

Lucky!!!

I am feeling sooooo happy that I am flying to the sky!!!

Haha! Today is such a lucky day for me!!! Best things of all, I won FOUR complimentary movie tickets!!!

Not really because I want to watch the movie, in fact I don't even know what the movie is all about. But, the feeling of winning something is really making me so happy and feels so wonderful!!!

Moreover, Ms Tian starts treating me normal again!!! She actually treats me well, chat with me and gave me a bag! The awkward feeling in me is starting to disappear and I am so grateful for that.

Now, I need to focus and thinking what should I do with the FOUR tickets. Haha! Maybe I can distribute the tickets in this way -- 1 for myself, 1 for Chong Lin, 1 for Yee Yun and 1 for Kuan. Erm... I think that's a pretty good arrangement, as long as all of them are free and watch together... Too bad that Jo is not here, or else I would have watched it together with her.

STOP!!! Today is a happy and lucky day, stop thinking on something that will make you unhappy and sad!!

Hope that the luck will go on until tonight and everything will turn up well for today!!!

Choosing Path

I am unhappy now... The unhappy feeling is slowly killing me...

I doubt whether I have made the correct decision. I doubt which decision is the correct decision. Ever since I told Ms Tian, it seems like everything is no longer the same. The initial intention is to give her early mental preparation, so she will know what to rely on me and what not to. However, the feeling that she no longer trusts me is slowing killing me. From past until now, proving my values in the company/ office is always ultimately important to me, thus when I start having the uncertain feeling, it is making me really panic and worry.

Fernn is also leaving the company... Jolene has left the house... It seems like everybody is slowing leaving, leaving me alone standing here, holding on for nothing, or something that I don't know of..

Staying here over friends is never a smart/ good rationale. I know, I understand, I just can't do it. I am feeling scare of what might happen after I left the company. It is like... One moment I have decided to leave, the next moment I doubt. This is really too suffering for me... Annie left, then Say How left, now Fernn is also leaving... Chiang also will be leaving sooner or later... Again, I will be the only person left alone here... I don't want that to happen, so I want to leave before I am the last! But, I just cannot make up my mind to leave now.

Today, I almost don't know how to face Ms Tian. It is just so awkward and weird. Fernn asks me why, I also don't know why. I think it is just me. Perhaps I placed too much emphasis on creating my value in the company. When I start losing my value, it is kind of scary for me. But, can I stay in UTAR forever? Will I be happy to stay here forever? Even after everyone have left...

Opportunity doesn’t always come. It may come today and leave tomorrow. Chance may only come once in a lifetime. Do you really want to give it up over such reason? Now I am standing in front of the choosing path, either take left or right... But it is really difficult, almost too difficult for me to make up my mind, too difficult for me to let go...