The FIRST Thanksgiving Letter

After doing so many batches of exhibitions, this is like the first time, yup, the first time ever I received a thanksgiving email from the students, and I am feeling really proud about it.

It is like, finally someone recognised and knew that you have been working hard at backstage. At least there is someone who does not take everything as granted, someone who knows that even though I may not be actually involved in creating those props, I contribute my time and effort too.

IT FELT REALLY GREAT!!

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Dear Kimmie,

I especially appreciate the information and advice you have provided when carrying out early preparatory work of the exhibition. Your assistance has been invaluable to me during this exhibition. Your advices and opinions helped me a lot not only on my creative team's tasks, but also my other team mates.Thank you for your constant encouragement and support.

Again, thank you so much. I greatly appreciate your generosity.

Best Regards,

Josephine Yee,
Creative Director of Graduation Exhibition 1101- Unsolved Case 1101.

Early

Although it has always been difficult for me to wake up early in the morning, it still feel great to reach office early and I would have time to surf the internet before I start the work of the day. ;)

P/S: This status is not posted on Facebook as I always don't feel comfortable posting most of the status that are related to work.

Little Things in Life

It's the third day of Creative October 2013 and I am already dead tired. I have not been able to sleep till 2am since last Tuesday and it is really BAD!!

Creative October is one of our annual signature events whereby speakers are invited to conduct a sharing or workshop on topics which are not related to Interior Design. In fact, comparing to ID Week, this is actually an event where I can sort of relate more to myself.

This year, I have been really honored to be able to invite Michelle Teh from Nom Nom Media, a sub-company of Nuffnang to come to share about "Social Media vs. Lifestyle".

The sharing was light yet interesting. From my observation, the students and staff really enjoyed themselves, which is great!! It is definitely so much better especially comparing with the speaker on earlier day. Let's just not go into details for the earlier talk, as it is not going to sound nice.

When I first started blogging, I have always been really envy those bloggers who can just earn a living by just blogging. It seems easy, but it is definitely not easy AT ALL. You must be really passionate and maintain the consistency. Sadly, it happens to be quite difficult for me.

Anyway, starting blogging with the mindset of wanting to get famous and earn money is definitely not a good start.

After couple of years of trying (did I even tried?!), I finally figured out that blogging is just not my cup of tea. I can't even fulfill the simplest requirement - consistency. And so, I decided to give up and stop thinking about it. BUT, I have always remember Nuffnang, being such an important community for all the bloggers.

This round, when I was searching for blogging, I decided to engage Timothy Tiah, one of the founders of Nuffnang. Unfortunately, he was unable to make it due to some family reason. BUT, it was really kind of him to help to dedicate the task to his other colleagues - Michelle, which turns up to be a really great speaker!!

Somehow, I was thinking that, things really happened for a reason. Little things in life may not seems important, but one day, just one fine day, it is going to turn back and bring some impacts (regardless big or small) to our life.

It is really important to be appreciative on our daily life and be responsible to what we do and what we say, because I believe in karma. Things will always turn back to us at the most unexpected timing.

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P/S: Correction to my previous post - Facebook vs. Blogging (http://newlife1126.blogspot.com/2013/10/facebook-vs-blogging.html), I have spoken with Michelle today over lunch, apparently the number of bloggers have been increasing on daily basis. Conclusion, probably it is only happening around my friends' circle.

Hurt

It has been awhile since I last blogged.

I have not been in the mood to blog, nor do I have the time to blog.

But, it has not been an exact good day for me.

Today, I have unintentionally hurt a friend of mine. A friend that I have never meant to treat him as such. He is one of the colleagues that I would never want to hurt. He has always been so kind, so supportive, so friendly and so helpful.

I was being rude, impatient, and I said things without thinking. Although things were said out of stress and I did not meant it. What was done cannot be done and the feeling sucks.

I has been trying so hard to control my emotion and today I just lost it. It should not happened and I shall not let it happen ever again.

I think it might be the hormone. I know my period is coming soon. Whatever. Stop giving myself excuses.

Just remember the mistakes and do not repeat it again.

梦想 Dream

‎"I have my dream." 

The reason that keep me going. o(^_-)O

日记？周记？2013.01.08，胡言乱语中....

我承认我并不知道我想写什么，一点概念都没有。就纯粹觉得自己该写blog了。

最近的我，算好还是不好呢。

工作表现开始恢复稳定了，至少感觉到自己的努力了，一切仿佛都回到了轨道，至少感觉心定了。去年真的是很糟糕的一年。太多的大起大落，影响了工作表现，影响了老板对我的心情。可是，我相信，一切会过去的。保持平常心，保持专注力，我一定能做的更好。工作做不完，大不了就OT，反正又不是没有试过。再加上，最近连游戏的心情都没有，把心情放在工作上，怎么说都划算的多。

最近的我。。。穷毙了。我上一次那么穷应该是在大学时期。最可悲的是，现在才月头。我其实没有很懂我要怎么熬过这个月。不敢吃，每用一分钱都在斤斤计较。

不敢吃应该是最大的突破，毕竟我向来都很注重吃这个part。一餐当两餐吃，能不吃就不吃，一份食物能分几次吃完就分几次，晚上都去7-Eleven买速食。好吧，我听起来也觉得自己可怜，果然over budget了就是这样啊 =.=

宝贝刚刚给了我一笔钱。他应该是忍不住看我继续虐待自己吧 =.= 我自己其实是真的觉得还好，我也很阿Q的告诉自己这是个减肥的机会，虽然最后可能会有营养不良的几率 @.@ （我是真的觉得应该不会那么严重啦~）毕竟我刚出院没有多久，而且还是因为肠胃问题进去的，我想我真的吓到他了吧~ 最后，答应了宝贝我每一餐都会吃，吃多吃少由我决定，不过，只要有吃，怎么都比没有吃健康多了吧~

那笔钱，可能的话，我真的不想用，毕竟我向来都没有伸手和男人拿钱花的习惯。当作帮他先拿着，月尾再存起来吧~ 我也只能这样安慰自己让自己好过点了。

日记？周记？2012.07.04，好郁闷的一天

最近好不开心。原本都不想写，不想提起不开心的事情，可是不开心的事情就算不提起，也不会消失；不去提起，不一定会淡化，只会越埋越深。

上个月爸爸中风了，昨天见了他，只觉得他老了好多好多。陪他去看了中医，医生问起了爸爸是不是曾经跌倒过。原来在几年前，爸爸曾经跌倒，甚至几个月不能走路。。。觉得我这个女儿好失败。。。连爸爸发生过什么事都不知道。想起爸爸在我小时候曾经把我抱高高，让我们骑马，半夜还会把在客厅睡着的我抱进房间。看着现在满头白发的他，只觉得好心疼。。。

忽然觉得工作和家人比起来，真的没有怎么重要。。。拼事业，可是却忽略了一手将自己拉拔长大的父母，这笔帐好像怎么算都不划算。。。。

最近很多人事压力让我都喘不过气。。。我很清楚，也很明白。。。这世界上不会没有人不喜欢你。。。不管一个人多完美，一定会有讨厌他的人。。。可是，有时候还是觉得很不明白，明明我都那么努力了，为什么永远都是不足够？我当然也知道我们应该为自己而活，而不是为其他人而活。。。可是，很难不去介意吧。。。看到大家特地把你僻除在外，要怎么才能不去在意呢？

当有利益冲突的时候，要怎么才能达到平衡点呢？这个是我一直很努力去学习的课题。。。要怎么做，才能让两边的人的开心呢？哄到了一边，却又得罪了另一边，最糟糕的是，有时候在这个过程中反而伤到了自己的心。。。

在感情世界里，到底是要把自己的喜怒哀乐放在之前，还是把对方的喜怒哀乐放在前面。。。有时候，明明有些事情让自己不开心，自己也很努力的控制自己的情绪。。。可是，为什么最后还是会让两个人都不开心。。。

那张照片，我到底介意还是不介意？我到底是想看到还是不想看到？我到底是有吃醋还是没有吃醋？重要吗？

就算我真的介意；就算我真的不想看到；就算我真的吃醋，藏起来的就不存在吗？忽然消失了不会有人觉得奇怪吗？

就算动机是好的，就算是要避免更深的误会，可是看不到就不会有误会吗？还存在的东西并不是收了起身就会不见的。。。

最后我感觉好讨厌自己。。。讨厌乱发脾气；讨厌乱吃醋的自己。。。

你问我，我到底想怎样？连我都搞不清楚了，怎么告诉你？看到我会不舒服；hide起来了我会觉得被隐瞒了；delete了会觉得自己小题大做了。。。不出声心里会不舒坦。较劲脑子想到最轻松的写法，结果还是不够轻松，让你识破文字底下的不满。直接写出自己的不满又觉得自己好小气。。。


我知道今天的日记很乱。。。因为心情乱的我实在写不出一篇有条理的文章。。。我只是想到什么就写什么。。。

日记？周记？2012.05.31，一个月又这样过掉了~~

今天的我好倒霉（还是应该说是粗心？）啊~~!!

我竟然会把公司重要的 archive 文件给 delete 掉！！T_T 就是觉得文件夹很乱，东西没有照循序排好，再加上很多东西已经 obselute 了，所以才想整理一下~ 结果，一时太得意忘形，竟然就这样把应该要留的文件给 delete 了！！怎么会这样啊~~ T_T

话说，经过整理之后，的确是比较整齐了~ 至于不小心洗掉的 file。。。就只能看看 email 里有没有什么 attachment，让我能够重新收集吧~ 毕竟太伤心也无补于事~ @.@

然后，我发现我竟然连 outlook 都开不到了 =.= 都怪我一时手痒，竟然也把 outlook 的 file delete 掉了。。。忽然觉得我真是天才，不，应该说是天兵吧。。。 =.=

宝贝这个星期天生日了哦~~ 感觉除了买了个 D3 给他之外，我什么都没有准备啊~ 原本想说要带他去吃 TAO 的~ 可是感觉他好像没有什么兴趣啊~ 可是，我倒是很有兴趣下~ 毕竟很久没吃了~ @.@ 好吧，我承认，其实贪吃的是我。。。

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UPDATE~~

在很认真地考虑。。。我是不是时候辞职了。。。。

是我适应能力差？是我太敏感？还是他们根本没有考虑到我的感受？

Academic 的工作被拿走，我忍。因为你说，这些东西本来不应该是我负责的。很好，在我负责了近乎两年之后，一句本来不是我负责的，就拿走。

Student affairs 的工作被拿来，我忍。因为你还是说，这些东西不应该是我负责的。

现在连 server 不给我 access，我忍。因为你说里面放的是 Academic 的东西。他妈的，你昨天才告诉我，我要负责帮你 update Academic 的 teaching materials，现在 server disable 了，不如你告诉我要怎么 update 啦！自己写，然后自己 print？还是每一次我要 print 之前再去求人家给我？？90 个 subjects，你以为每个人那么得空么？？一个一个 copy 给我。你知道有多浪费时间吗？大家一个人每天已经要做 4 个人的工作，无缘无故要继续增加别人的工作量。当我去问的时候，他们再他妈的告诉我他们不得空。GOOD！这样我的 deadline 就这样被 delay 了咯！

这些我都可以忍。可是，can you at least have the courtesy to inform me before you bloody made the chances???!!! 在我打电话去给其他 department complain 的时候，你知道他们会怎么把我当笑话吗？？？

Oh!! I am sorry that I have to do this, but you boss has directly instructed us to do. 

他妈的，我一直以来都认为你是一个很好的老板。不管有多少不满，我都不会出去和任何人说，有人问起，我甚至还会说你好话。你这样做的时候，你有考虑到我的感受？

你告诉其他人，老板不需要对下属解释他的决定。FINE，我明白！我现在没有要你解释，我只是要你通知！ 通知一下我会死哦？？我会和你大吵大闹哦？我有哪一次不是你一句话，我就说，“Ok, Eric.”

Department 里所有的变化我算了，可是现在你知道你让我觉得我很不重要，你很不相信我吗？那么不相信我，我走咯！我才不相信我走出去会找不到工！>.<

忘记

忘记。

很多人很多东西都习惯用一句忘记来解释。

“忘记了，就是忘记了。我也不想忘记的啊。”

也很常发生在我身上，我会不小心忘记买东西，忘记订东西，忘记吃东西，忘记带东西。

可是，其实忘记是真的不小心，还是我们因为根本我们根本没有把那样东西放在priority。有多少机会我们会忘记真正重要，我们真正在意的事情呢？

就好像，
如果分手了，那些曾经拥有的回忆会轻易被忘记吗？
如果追求一个人，你会忘记她喜欢的东西吗？
如果谈恋爱，你会忘记报到吗？

我发现，很多时候，所谓的忘记，其实只是被忘记的那件事在你心里并没有其他事那么重要。

就好像，

喜欢游戏的人，永远不会忘记游戏，永远会记得几点有什么活动，几点需要交什么任务。
喜欢shopping的人，永远不会忘记shopping，无论去到哪里，都会买一些自己喜欢的东西。
喜欢运动的人，永远不会忘记运动时间，还有自己该做什么运动。
相信保健品的人，为了不会忘记吃药时间。

如果忘记的是东西，或者小事的话，真正在意的人应该没有很多。最多气一下就算了。

可是，如果忘记的是人的话，有多少个人不会被伤到呢？

对不起，我忘记call你。
对不起，我忘记报备。
对不起，我忘记你的生日。
对不起，我忘记帮你打包。
对不起，我忘记把你算进去。

对不起，我忘记了你。

这一句一句的对不起，一句一句的忘记，其实真的很伤人。
伤心的不是被忘记，而是觉得自己并没有被放在心里。

我承认自己也很常用忘记来当借口。我也觉得自己很混帐。因为，当被忘记的是自己的时候，尤其是当自己是被对自己而言很重要的人忘记，那种痛，我无法形容。

以上纯属个人观点，不赞成的人，请你自动ignore。

It just made my day.

I was compiling and doing a summary report for the student evaluation feedback for last semester. Trust me. It is not exactly a happy job. You never know how irritated it is when you see comment like, "No offense. If I am the principal of the school, I will fire all the staff of XX Department", or comment like "Fees too expensive", or even "Sometimes they gave me wrong info causing me to repeat subjects for no reason. Feel disappointed &amp; please ensure correct info given." 

WTF. No offense? The fact that you stated this statement is already an offensive statement. The department is not there to serve you. We are human too. Who are you to say that you would hire the whole department if you are principal? What I can say is that I am glad that you are not the principal. 

Fees too expensive? I thought you should already know before you sign up for the course? The fees structure are given when you enrolled. More so, you are not even paying the bills, your parents did. 

What wrong information can they give that cause you to repeat? If it is wrong information, I am sure you can appeal to the management right? Unless it is a mistake that caused by yourself and all you dare to do is to complain anonymously in student evaluation form. Student, if you do not put efforts in your study, it is not the lecturers or admin staff problem okay?

Anyway, after seeing all these ridiculous comments, I saw one that really made my day and tell me how much I am being appreciated. 

Kimmie from ID dept is the perfect secretary as she's responsible & handles the dept well.

Oh gosh! I am so so so touch when I see this. At least I know I am being appreciate by this student. And just simple statement, it has gave me more enthusiasm to carry on with the evaluation report. ^^

...

I still have no sense of belonging...

On My Own...

ID Week is coming next week. It is an annual event organized by Interior Design Department, TOA. Only 3 more days to go and I am feeling so nervous and unprepared. Unable to rest well at night, thinking of it all the time, yet, there are always seems to be something missing somewhere, there are always something that I missed out. 

I have done so many different events, but this is the only time where I feel so helpless. I am totally on myself for EVERYTHING from the beginning until the end. 

Of course I have people from other department helping by execute my planning. But, what if I missed out something? Exactly like what has happened this few days. I feel bad for making such mistakes. I feel bad for troubling other people. I feel horrible for not making the planning right. I feel pressure when my boss questions my decisions. I feel upset when I feel so weak. 

I LOVE doing event, I really do. But, what motivate me to move on is actually the people. 

When I was a student, my friends and committees were my motivation to move on. We shared the happiness and sadness. We cursed together. We "OT" together. We fought for our rights and benefits together. Although we argue, the process and end result always brought satisfaction and happiness. 

When I was a DSA officer, students were my motivation to move on. Looking at them growing  from event to event, again brought my satisfaction to the max. We always tried our hardest to make an event the best. And I always tried hardest to ensure that students received appreciation for their contribution. Maybe some students hate me, but I know there are always some who love me. 

An event is always our baby. We gave birth to it and nurture it with our heart. That's why it meant more than anything to us. 

Now, I am doing event again. But, there is just no one there with me. Because, everybody are just merely doing their job. The event does not mean anything to them AT ALL.

I used to be very confident and proud of myself. Now, I don't anymore. Worst still, I start doubting my own capability. Maybe I just can't do anything right. Maybe I am just a lousy planner. 

I know I shouldn't carry on like this. I know I should stand up and prove myself. But, I really can't do it now. I don't know what else I can do, that's why I beg for encouragements, hoping that it will help me to feel better. Or maybe I will just feel better after today. I really hope so. 

ME on TV!!!!

TV Shooting will be up next week!!!

Oh well... I never really expected to see myself appearing in the TV, especially when I am neither in the entertainment industry nor I have any close friend who is currently in the entertainment industry. Even if I have, I doubt they will or they have the authority to simply put me up.

And now, in few weeks time, you will see my face at RTM2! (Precise date and time will be updated once confirmed)

I believe that a lot of you already know that I work for Eric Leong, one of the iconic celebrities in Malaysia. For those who don't know who he is, click here!

RTM is now launching their new programme, "ICON", which the TV crew and TV host will unveil what Malaysia iconic celebrity does during ordinary day. And, Eric Leong is invited!!

Next Wednesday, he will bring in RTM TV crew to The One Academy. They will follow him everywhere, including the class and of course to the office, filming that he is having discussion with me. ME!

Not that I am really fancy about becoming famous or what, but it still feel good to be able to go on TV, even if it is only for few minutes (or even few seconds). I mean... This is a one in a lifetime experience which will be really memorable.

Oh gosh! I am starting to get nervous and guess what? It is time for closet shopping again! I am sure that you wouldn't want to see me all mess up or dress horribly in the TV. As a professional working adult, I need to look professional. ^^


"You may not dress up for everyday work, but you MUST look good on the TV!"

Confirmation

At last, I have received my confirmation letter. (*^_^*)

Reasons of my happiness:

1. Everything is finally confirmed in black and white.
2. Instead of six months, I was confirmed in my four and half months.
3. The proposed salary is approved too! I must say that the salary is much higher than what I would have expected when I first joined TOA.

Congratulations to me!! Yeah!!!

Working in TOA~~

After reading through my blog, I just noticed that I have not written anything regarding my new job. I have been working in The One Academy (TOA) for more than a month. A lot of people have asked me how is the company and the working environment.

Firstly, it is very tiring to work here. Let not go into the workload, just looking at the location of the office is worse enough. The office is located at 3rd Floor, which is the same level with where DSA, PJ Campus located in FICT. But, there is a huge difference between both offices; UTAR has lift where TOA does not have. As all the administrative offices are at Ground Floor, every day I have to climb up and down from Ground Floor to 3rd Floor. But, looking at the bright side, it is a good method for me to exercise. (^_”)

Most of the time, I am always alone in the office. Why? All lecturers in my department are guest lecturers, which mean that they will only come to college whenever there is class. As my boss, who at the same time is a celebrity, with so many shooting, he will only come in the office twice a week. What this means? It means the office is all mine during all other four days. Nowadays, MSN, playing FB, blogging, reading novel are most of the things that I have been doing in the office. Although there is no one talking to me in the office, I gained a lot of freedom, which is even better isn’t it? (^_^)

As my boss is always not in the office, I need to represent him most of the time. Attending meeting on his behalf; dealing with other departments on his behalf; liaising with Principal’s secretary on his behalf. Doing this job, it is very important for me stay focus, which most of the time is quite hard for me. It also requires me to make right decision in just a glimpse of eyes, which most of the time make me worry, worry that I may not make the right decision.

People asked me, do I miss UTAR? Duh! Of course I do. I miss having lunch with Jia, Vincent and Chiang. We always go around trying new food and nice food; I miss meeting with students, having discussion with them on the upcoming events; I miss running around for students’ event, sometimes I can even forget about my lunch and dinner; I miss guiding students on minutes writing, seeing them improve would be my biggest satisfaction of the day; I miss flower selling during Convocation. Although it is very tiring, working together with SL, Vivian and other students is always so fun; I miss the office, it is always full with my noise and laugh; I miss sitting next to Vincent, although I always teased at him.

I miss everything in UTAR, regardless it is good or bad. But, new job isn’t so bad either. At least I know I know I will be able to learn new things here and one day, I will find something in TOA which is also very important for me. (^_^)

Dance Club - "Pimp My Night"

Today is definitely going to be one of the most memorable nights during my working tenure in UTAR. As most of you guys would have known that I am leaving UTAR, my last day in UTAR would be next Monday. Tonight was “Talent Showcase 2009 - Pimp My Night", which was organized by Dance Club, PJ Campus. At the same time, this is also my last event/ project in UTAR.

During the preparation/ planning process, a lot of miscommunications happened among the committee. The committees were clearly not prepared for the event. Planning was not properly done. The committees were completely clueless about what they can do and what they should do. One point of time, I even considered to postpone the event. Thank god that the committees refused to do so, they insist to carry out the event as planned. Otherwise, I might feel regret for the rest of my life, for missing such a good show and killing their spirit and passion in doing this event.

I am not saying that they did a fantastic job. In fact I have seen some better events. However, with short time frame and committees who clearly were unsure of what to do, I would say that I am proud of the outcome tonight! Everybody put in their best effort in making this event a success, and I do think that it is a successful event!! For such a long time, I stop seeing PD011 full with people. Ever since most courses were transferred to other campuses, almost all events are facing the problems of getting audience, and today the hall was full. It was so full that people actually have not enough places to sit. They have to stand or sit on the table. It was just so encouraging and motivating!

This makes me regret on my decision for tendoring my resignation. I am really so happy working with all the students here, helping them during event was so tiring, yet so enjoyable. This is the kind of feeling that I might never get in other institutions, industries or other position.

Jo told me that I have to move on; maybe I will be able to see better and more wonderful things at the world outside. UTAR is always going to be one of the best memories in my life. My effort and contribution in UTAR will not come to a waste. At the end of the day, I will be able held my head high and says that I am proud of myself and I am proud of UTAR students. Because they are really a bunch of kids who are able to make the impossible into possible!

Sevanes has started working in PJ Campus, which means I can start counting down to my last day in UTAR.  Now, since Sevanes is already here, I think it is time for me to packing my things to handover to her.

I guess 1 month notice is a bit too long for me. It is so long that I have almost forgotten that I am leaving UTAR. Having pack workloads of course are also not helping.

Now, with the return of Mr. Deneish and presence of Sevanes, it kind of hit me hard in the head that I really have to go... It is time for me to move on... It is time for me to leave...

It was really fun for the past month and I really enjoyed myself. Thank you to all my colleagues who have been taking care of me. I really enjoyed being colleagues... and friends with you guys. It is definitely going to be one of the most memorable experiences in my life.

Rejected...

I was rejected for a translation job which I applied last week through Internet. :(

It is a job which I am supposed to translate proposals from English to Chinese. I spent so much effort and time in translating the trial copy. In the end, I was still rejected...

I am really disappointed with the outcome. I really thought it was not too bad and I will be accepted. I admitted that there are a lot of terms which I am unsure of what it called in Mandarin, but I have done several research through Internet to ensure that I get it right...

Maybe I was just too confident; Maybe I am just not cut for translation; Maybe I am not as good as I imagined.

First Translation Job

I have received my first translation job!!!

Now, I am officially a freelance translator for Cosway Malaysia. Finally, I got a part time job which I can work at home and earn money at the same time. Not just any part time where I have to go out to meet people, approach people, convince people. Now, all I need to do is stay home and type!!!

I am not too sure with the current market rate for translation. Cosway is paying me 20 cent per word, which I am quite happy with it. As a fresh starter, I won't expect to earn a lot. In fact, 20 cent per word is already good enough for me.

At the same time, I have also applied for some other translation job, let's cross fingers and hope that it will work out too!!!

Resignation

I have officially tender my resignation. It has come to a point where there is no return. I sign the offer letter and tender my resignation on the same day. Deep inside, I know I will regret. Deep inside, I know I might not leave. Maybe that's why I wanted to settle everything immediately.

I must admit I regret almost immediately after I step out from Ms Tian's office. I am afraid that it is not a correct decision; I am afraid that it might be a mistake; I am afraid that TOA might not be better than UTAR; I am afraid that people in TOA might not like me; I am afraid that I cannot coped the job in TOA.

I keep telling myself that I have to look forward and step out from this comfort zone. However, it just seems difficult. Perhaps I just need more courage.