Random

Sometimes I have illusion on how I would injure myself.
How I would fall down the stairs.
How I would sprain my ankles.
How I would trip and fall down.
How I would meet an accident.
How I would cut myself.
How I would bang myself to the wall.

Sometimes it came true, but more often than it did not.
I think I am blessed to have such illusion.
At least I will be extra careful when I walk.
At least I can try to minimize the injury.

I have sprained my ankle for so many times, until I am an expert for it.
I know the best way to minimize the damage.
I know how to angle my body so that I can minimize the damage.
I know how to balance my body so that I will not fall down ugly.

I do not know why I am writing this.
I just feel that I need to write something to ease my mind.
Confusion, anger, disappointment, burdened, joy; all kind of mixture feelings are bothering me.

Confusion: Everything around me has turned around. What has happened?

Anger: Everybody should be responsible to what they did. Running away will not solve anything. Threatening your poor parents definitely not the best solution.

Disappointment: If we have not communicated, we wouldn’t know how much things that you have lied to us. YOU told me that you will do it nicely, liar.

Burdened: I am sick of doing what I am forced to do. Responsibilities have started to pressure me. So much so that I do not know how to reject. Not that I ever master in it.

Joy: Finally I have received my early confirmation. It is one and half month in advance. Actual increment still pending for discussion tomorrow.

Wish me luck on everything! Speedy mental recovery, good increment and etc.