Yvonne's Wedding

Finally it is over...After a week of preparation (As a bridesmaid), finally the wedding ceremony is over.

I think the ceremony is kind of nice and romantic. I think the surprise that Ming Yew gave Yvonne before the ceremony is extremely touching and romantic (Although I am not there to witness it).

A lot of preparations such as dress code and rehearsal have been done leading to the ceremony. During the preparation, of course we felt angry and mistreated, but all and all, it really worth it after you see the outcome on the night.

Actually I have nothing much to write for that night, I just feel that I should record it down, so I will remember it, 12 September 2009, the night where I become the bridesmaid for Yvonne and Ming Yew's wedding.

Tiring Night...

Yesterday was a real tiring day!!!

Going off from work earlier, run around PJ to pick up people (Sara, Mei Shien, Ken) and stuff (Mei Shien's Dress), then rush to Equatorial Hotel for a rehearsal. (Not mentioning that people have been screaming at me that I am late for the rehearsal. Please lar... You think I like to be stuck in the jam is it?) After spending half an hour on the rehearsal, immediately have to run out and rush to Kota Damansara for Fern’s farewell dinner. Then, spend the whole night discussing with Mei Shien whether we should sing 天天夜夜 or not... The most annoying part is -- if there is no space to slot in an additional programme, then just don't ask me lar... Making me worried for nothing nia...

Nevertheless, it is still a wonderful dinner for yesterday night. We laugh and discussed on some "sensitive" issue. The outing really makes me enjoy myself. But, I also start wonder did I talk too much last night. Erm… maybe I should keep quiet and maintain my innocence look. Anyway, it is too late to regret, what is done has already been done. I have no idea how long more I will be able to stay in UTAR, so I should cherish all my time here with everyone.

Tonight, I will stay over at Joey's house and getting ourselves ready for tomorrow BIG day. (Why I sound like I am the one getting married?) Hope that everything went well for tonight. No argument, just pure happiness!

Lucky!!!

I am feeling sooooo happy that I am flying to the sky!!!

Haha! Today is such a lucky day for me!!! Best things of all, I won FOUR complimentary movie tickets!!!

Not really because I want to watch the movie, in fact I don't even know what the movie is all about. But, the feeling of winning something is really making me so happy and feels so wonderful!!!

Moreover, Ms Tian starts treating me normal again!!! She actually treats me well, chat with me and gave me a bag! The awkward feeling in me is starting to disappear and I am so grateful for that.

Now, I need to focus and thinking what should I do with the FOUR tickets. Haha! Maybe I can distribute the tickets in this way -- 1 for myself, 1 for Chong Lin, 1 for Yee Yun and 1 for Kuan. Erm... I think that's a pretty good arrangement, as long as all of them are free and watch together... Too bad that Jo is not here, or else I would have watched it together with her.

STOP!!! Today is a happy and lucky day, stop thinking on something that will make you unhappy and sad!!

Hope that the luck will go on until tonight and everything will turn up well for today!!!

Choosing Path

I am unhappy now... The unhappy feeling is slowly killing me...

I doubt whether I have made the correct decision. I doubt which decision is the correct decision. Ever since I told Ms Tian, it seems like everything is no longer the same. The initial intention is to give her early mental preparation, so she will know what to rely on me and what not to. However, the feeling that she no longer trusts me is slowing killing me. From past until now, proving my values in the company/ office is always ultimately important to me, thus when I start having the uncertain feeling, it is making me really panic and worry.

Fernn is also leaving the company... Jolene has left the house... It seems like everybody is slowing leaving, leaving me alone standing here, holding on for nothing, or something that I don't know of..

Staying here over friends is never a smart/ good rationale. I know, I understand, I just can't do it. I am feeling scare of what might happen after I left the company. It is like... One moment I have decided to leave, the next moment I doubt. This is really too suffering for me... Annie left, then Say How left, now Fernn is also leaving... Chiang also will be leaving sooner or later... Again, I will be the only person left alone here... I don't want that to happen, so I want to leave before I am the last! But, I just cannot make up my mind to leave now.

Today, I almost don't know how to face Ms Tian. It is just so awkward and weird. Fernn asks me why, I also don't know why. I think it is just me. Perhaps I placed too much emphasis on creating my value in the company. When I start losing my value, it is kind of scary for me. But, can I stay in UTAR forever? Will I be happy to stay here forever? Even after everyone have left...

Opportunity doesn’t always come. It may come today and leave tomorrow. Chance may only come once in a lifetime. Do you really want to give it up over such reason? Now I am standing in front of the choosing path, either take left or right... But it is really difficult, almost too difficult for me to make up my mind, too difficult for me to let go...

又惹祸了~~~

我又惹忠霖生气了。。。

我承认我这次是真的过分了一点，一回来就不停的讲电话，完全没听过。就算他脸黑黑对着我，我还是依然故我，甚至他已经气地走出去，我还是没停。最后还是快到睡觉时间，他进来的时候，我才肯盖电话。

其实我也不知道为什么会将那么久，自从中学毕业后，我已经没有试过讲那么久的电话，讲了几乎有三个钟头。可是，才久久一次，这么要那么生气呢？

后来，回头想想，如果我是他，我大概也会生气吧！两人相聚的时间只有晚上，我却不拿来陪另一半，反而拿来讲公司的东西。已经那么迟回来了，最后实践还是花在别人的身上，我真的可以明白为什么他那么不爽。

可是，我真的不知道现在可以怎样道歉，要怎样才可以消消他的气呢？

刚才他把我从他的房间赶出来，我在外面站了很久，一直在想要怎样向他道歉。要敲门道歉？要sms道歉？还是什么都不做？当然，同时我也希望他会发现我在门外，然后出来找我。可惜，他完全不理我。站了差不多5分钟，他完全没有反应，最后也只能敲门道歉。

真的很后悔！怪自己怎么能让他那么生气！所以决定写下来，提醒自己以后不可以再重复同样的mistake，一定要尽量同样的事情再次发生。一定要！